


A Child Without Guidance

by rujakcuka



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Female Hange Zoë, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 19:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19729834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rujakcuka/pseuds/rujakcuka
Summary: Her greeting was replied with nothing. Erwin was like that when he was still alive and now he’d still been doing it. How cruel.





	A Child Without Guidance

**Author's Note:**

> (1) you _**read**_ the additional tag; feel free to go back if you're uncomfortable. (2) set during the time skip, before the marley arc.

When Hange couldn’t sleep at night and felt that all of those works were suffocating, she would excuse herself to get some fresh air. She breathed through her nostril and felt her lungs suddenly cleaner than before. Her only remaining brown eye looked at the sky. It was full of stars, some were shinier, others weren’t.

She liked spending her time doing those things while visiting Erwin’s grave. It was quiet and she just could be herself in front of him. It was quite far from her house to be reached by walking, but she still visited him nonetheless. Her mind didn’t worry about a person—or a soldier, she didn’t even bother to see—or two who accidentally saw her walking towards the cemetery. She hummed like a five years old kid did.

It was funny how she almost returned back to her old self, she thought.

But she didn’t, because she wasn’t only her old, section commander self—she was a commander. Only saying one word would make all the soldiers do anything. It was a big responsibility and she oftentimes wondered how she hadn’t fallen yet.

“Hi, Erwin,” said she as she sat in front of him, smiling but it was entirely different from how she used to do it. Her greeting was replied with nothing. Erwin was like that when he was still alive and now he’d still been doing it.

How cruel.

Hange laughed as she took off her glasses, revealing her gleaming brown eye on the right and her eye patch on the left. “We’ve been doing something extraordinary, do you know that?” her voice was lower than before, although she herself knew nobody could hear. Her vision scanned his tombstone, tracing even the lines that inscribed his name and it was blurred.

“Levi’s always been helping me—truly grateful, but sometimes the others treat me like shit,” uttered Hange, shifting her sitting position as the gun on her back made her uncomfortable. She didn’t mention what something extraordinary was and who the others were, like it’s the biggest secret she’d ever had and Erwin was too early to know.

“Eren’s still at that phase, Mikasa’s getting better with Levi—a family should be familiar with each other, right? Armin’s helped me a lot, Jean, Connie—“

Words kept falling off her mouth as she told him about all the Survey Corps members, one by one, and she even mentioned how Nile’d changed after his death and how Pixis still was the best drinker she’d ever known. She surprised herself by how well she could remember all those names.

She shifted her position again. “Oh, God, Erwin, now I’ve been carrying a gun around for my own safety,” her deep voice hissed. She knew she was strong but she wasn’t as strong as her only remaining veteran colleague. “The situation’s getting tense. Can you believe that?”

The tombstone didn’t reply.

“You know, it reminds me how you would listen to my ideas in silence until I ran out of breath,” she spoke, changing the topic all of sudden. The night became colder as the wind blew, yet Erwin’s grave had been comforting her in a way she couldn’t explain.

Her breath’s still there, so she continued, “You’re cruel as a man, but really great as a commander. No wonder people are willing to go to hell with you—heck, wherever you’re now, could you please save a seat for me?”

But it terrified her how, at some point, she couldn’t think that Erwin was here. Hange had her colleague and subordinates, but still she did feel alone and lonely. She’d always wondered why Erwin chose her as his successor and she never got her answer, let alone a satisfying one.

Getting colder and realizing tomorrow would be the usual paperwork routine, Hange got up from the ground and walked towards the tombstone. She kissed it as a parting gift—although she was really sure she’d be here again some days later—like it was his own cheek. “I bet Levi kissed your tombstone like I do,” joked she.

The tombstone was cold.


End file.
